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Blog Post

AUG
26
2017

A Step-by-Step Guide to Porn Paysite Reviewing

The process of reviewing a paysite is a complicated one. I’ve personally written thousands – potentially even tens of thousands – of professional, paysite reviews for dozens of the top-ranked platforms there are out there. Naturally, when I first started, my ability to write reviews wasn’t all that great. Nowadays, I can visit a paysite and optimise my review process so that clients aren’t paying extreme amounts to get the content that they want. In order to assist new reviewers, this blog post will go over the most important elements of a paysite and what to consider when writing a review.

Note: Writing this was somewhat exhaustive. I have yet to proofread it. Expect spelling terrors.

Pre-visit

The first place to start is actually before you even visit the website. What we’re looking at here is stuff such as:

  • Does the website have a history? For instance, Playboy, Hustler, Brazzers, etc. are all household names. What are your expectations of this site based on your preconceived notions?
  • How long has the site been around for? Naturally, sites that are brand-new seldom have hundreds of hours of content, whereas places that have been online for a dozen years should have a large archive.
  • Does the name suggest a niche? For instance, TeenPies.com better have 18 and 19 year olds taking cumshots in their pussies. You should have an expectation when heading into the review.

 

The Tour

Tours are a great place to get something to write about. From a reviewer perspective, the best types of tours are those with dated content showing preview videos, photos, model names, scene descriptions and any bonus features. This is pretty much the ideal design for the user too. Lately, paysites have been increasingly attempting to make the ‘tube style’ approach to tours a thing. If you’re not entirely sure what I’m talking about, pay a visit to Don’t Break Me to get an idea of what I’m talking about. These sites have no written information, model names, preview videos or anything else – I’m not a fan of these, but they must convert, so I’m not going to complain too much. Here are a few things to look for in the tour:

  • What promises are made? Does the site claim to have 1,000+ videos in the archive, 4K quality content, no download limits and 20 bonus sites? If so, let the reader know. You can always write a review around the promises and what’s actually delivered. You’d be surprised how many paysites have tours that don’t tell the truth – I tend to mention if something is promised but not offered.
  • Are there dates on the content? Sites that don’t list their upload schedules should be met with a bit of scepticism. There’s the potential that they no longer update.
  • Is the preview content real? There are plenty of paysites that have tours which are populated with content they do not own. An example of this is Watch My GF – pictures are used below photographs with a claim of there being a video to download, when I know for a fact that the images have no such video associated with them.
  • Does it have a good design? A great tour design with a poor internal navigation system will suggest that the place has dated content and just purchased a fresh tour to get people inside.

 

The Member’s Area

A member’s area should feel like a member’s area: you’ve just paid $30 for access to a website and it better be good. The amount of poorly structured porn sites is pretty damn crazy, but there are plenty of places that do the right thing too. A good paysite structure will typically have the latest scenes on the homepage, a separate area for the top-rated scenes, a place for the highest rated stars and some other useful content areas. Header navigation should consist of a place to take a look at the full scene archives, advanced search, bonuses (if any) forums, and so on. Here are a few things to take note of in the member’s area:

  • How quickly does the site and its pages load? When you’re on a porn site, you’re there for a reason. Keeping the customer waiting is never a good thing. Quicker sites deserve praise.
  • How good is the design, navigation and colour scheme? A modern design should be complimented, and a good navigation scheme is always worth mentioning. If the site looks dated, you can still mention this: I sometimes phrase it as not being a huge issue, as the most important thing on a porn site is the porn.
  • Are the extra features provided useful? For instance, are the bonus sites clearly displayed, can you access the forums with no issues, etc.
  • Are there adverts? I absolutely hate adverts in a member’s area. If I’m paying for a service, I should not have to deal with being given more places to go to part with my cash.
  • Does the content inside have an update schedule? Naturally, the more content provided, the better. Always check to see how fresh the material is. A place that no longer updates is rarely worth joining.
  • Do scenes have a good layout and good meta data? I’m always looking for written scene descriptions, model names (with clickable links to profiles that display more content), upload date, length of scene, number of photos and whatever else. The more information given to the user, the better.

 

The Content

To make discussion of the content review easier, we’re going to break down this review section into subjective and objective analysis.

Subjective

This is, in essence, a measurement of whether or not the porn can be jerked off to. When someone joins a paysite, they’re doing so because they want to whip out their shaft and massage it while taking a look at what’s on offer. The concept isn’t that complicated, and although there are different tastes in porn, most people can agree on the key aspects of a good porn experience. Here are my top things to look at:

  • What’s the storyline? For many scenes, a storyline isn’t required to be enjoyable, but if the site has an underlying niche, it better be included. For instance, faux-incest websites would have to have constant mentions of ‘daddy’, ‘brother’ and whatever else. If those aren’t being said, it defeats the purpose of advertising the content in that fashion.
  • Are the models attractive? This is obviously subjective, but a good rule of thumb is to look out for big names. A site devoted to petite porn that has Dakota Skye and Piper Perri in the latest scenes are likely going to be good places. Attractiveness also extends to the niches – MILF portals should absolutely have ladies like Lisa Ann. Appropriate models for the content is key.
  • Are the models having a good time? Again, for a BDSM site, this might not be all that important, but by and large, a porn viewer is going to have a better experience if the models look like they actually want to fuck. Smiling, proactive movement, passionate kissing, etc.. Look out for the signs that show she’s into it.
  • What are the locations like? Large studios have big budgets, which translates into fucking all over the world at a variety of locations. Studios like Met Art have the art of surroundings down to a science. Every release is unique in theme and the same locations aren’t being used over and over again. Note that this type of idea doesn’t apply to location-based porn sites, such as Fake Taxi, Casting Couch X, etc..
  • Does the cameraman have a clue? Look, when a dude is fucking a chick and she’s moaning to the point where he can’t hold it in, do not, I repeat – DO NOT – cut to a shot of his scrunched up face when those balls are ready to bust a nut. I’m watching the porn to see how much fun she’s having – not the dude. Note: the reverse is true when reviewing gay sites, but you should probably know that.
  • Is the audio decent? I’m not just talking about a lack of cheesy funk music here: good audio should pick up on spanks, squeals, whispers between the stars and everything else. Static and white noise aren’t at all good – it’s the 21st century, that just doesn’t fly in the modern era.
  • Would you jerk to it? This one is simple, if so, it’s probably good.

 

Objective

Measuring objective media is a little bit easier: we can look at facts and in most cases, there’s no need to have an opinion about facts. You will have to lean your review of objective quality slightly depending on a few situations. Niches with low competition don’t have such high requirements, and genuine amateur sites (which are rare, but do exist) feel better when it’s not in extremely high quality. For most places, I weigh up quality of videos/pictures at a 80%/20% ratio. It’s a simple fact that image-based porn just isn’t that important.

  • What’s the highest quality option? The current ‘standard’ in porn is 1080p, and any network producing material right now should be supporting that resolution. 4K is a bonus, but the consumer market for it just isn’t all that amazing. Note that there is a benefit for 4K even if you’re only using a 1080p monitor – downscaling from 4K makes that 1080p slightly better ‘quality’. For those that don’t know, 1080p content is 1920×1080 pixels, whereas 4K is 3840×2160 pixels. You should also be looking at the bitrate of the material – a good bitrate for 1080p material is anything above 8 Mb/s. Some sites have 1080p but offer it at around 2.5 Mb/s – this isn’t all that good.
  • What FPS do they run at? 30 is acceptable: anything less and I’m critical. If it offers 60 FPS, that’s great too.
  • What other options are provided? Most sites are going to provide their 4K and 1080p content in an MP4 format, but they may also offer WMV and AVI – while not vital, it’s a good little bonus. Smaller content resolutions are also a benefit, as some people have bandwidth issues, download limits or time constraints. Most sites should offer 480p and 720p as alternatives.
  • Are both downloads and streams provided? This one’s simple: sites should provide both, but if they only offer one, downloads are preferred. Modern day member’s areas should be using HTML5 MP4 embeds for their streaming – if they’re using Flash, you might want to mention it.
  • What’s the download speed like? Time is money: I want a site to be capping out my connection so I can get as much of their porn as I can in my limited access to their service. Anything above 3 MB/s is acceptable.
  • Are there multiple zipped photo sets? If so, good. If only one size – that’s okay. No zipped photo sets and we’ve got a problem.
  • Do the file names make local storage easy? File names should be easy to follow and interpret. A good file name would be something like: Lexi Belle – My Whore Pussy Needs a Tongue (We Live Together). A bad file name would be something like: MOV2151623234.mp4

 

I will likely add to this list at a later date when I come back to review it, but for now, I think I’ve covered the most important aspects of a paysite review.

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About the Author
Village elder, head writer and general go-to guy of X Copywriters. The mastermind behind infamous sales copy such as 'free porn' and 'click here'.

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